Smashing from afar

Hello, Hulk. It’s been a while. What have you been up to since last we spoke? 
HULKIE HAS BEEN IN
VERY LONG, BORING BUT REMUNERATIVE TRIAL.

What were your thoughts on the recent Global Law Summit (GLS)? 
HULKIE HAD HOPED THAT GRAYLING WOULD CHOKE ON HIS MAGNA CARTA, BUT HE WAS DISAPPOINTED.

Chairman of the Criminal Bar Association, Tony Cross, appeared at the GLS. Was he right to attend? 
SOMEONE HAD TO SPEAK THE TRUTH. HULK SAY HE WAS RIGHT TO ATTEMPT TO SMASH THE THING.
 

Did you attend any of the protest events? 
VERY UNUSUALLY, HULK WAS DOING A PRO BONO TRIAL FOR A SOLICITOR HE OWES A FAVOUR TO. HULK HAS, HOWEVER, BEEN SMASHING FROM AFAR.

At the GLS Lord Pannick said the Lord Chancellor looked ‘ridiculous’ over his reforms to judicial review. Was that a fair description?
CAREFUL WITH YOUR GRAMMAR THERE, BUT YES, A FAIR DESCRIPTION. JR IS THERE PRECISELY TO CONTROL THE IDIOTIC (COUGH, UNLAWFUL) GRAYLING FAILINGS.

The government wants
to crack down on sham marriages. Will its new regulations work? 
THEY’RE NOT VERY ROMANTIC AT THE HOME OFFICE ARE THEY? HULK ONCE DATED A CIVIL SERVANT WHO CONSTANTLY WENT ON ABOUT “NUMBER 10” AND TONY BLAIR’S HAIR. IT WAS EXHAUSTING.

Labour has unveiled plans for a Victim’s Law. What are your thoughts? 
HULK APPLAUDS THIS ATTEMPT TO SUPPORT THE VICTIM. HOWEVER, IT IS SUPPORT BY INCHES. THE KIND OF RESOURCES THAT WOULD REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE ARE LOCKED UP IN A SECRET BANK ACCOUNT IN SWITZERLAND.

The Bar Council says students shouldn’t be put off a career at the Bar because of high training costs and limited numbers of pupillages. Are they right? 
HULK SAY YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE, AND HAVE TO BE LUCKY. ALSO, THE BPTC SHOULD BE SMASHED, BECAUSE IT’S RUBBISH.

SJ has now published three opinion pieces by a trio of lawyers explaining how and why they are voting at the general election. Have any of them persuaded you to vote a certain way? 
HULK WILL BE VOTING GREEN, THE ONLY REAL ALTERNATIVE FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN SOCIAL JUSTICE.

Thanks, Hulkie. 
WAIT! WHERE HAS YOUR BEARD GONE, PUNY HUMAN? SJ

@barristerhulk