Solicitor, mediator and counsellor

A person going through a divorce
and separation has a range of needs: emotional needs that require support
to manage the change and trauma, a need for legal advice so he/she is aware of his/her rights,
and a need for mediation so as to come to an agreement about child care and financial matters to prevent going to court.

Many family solicitors are also trained mediators, and increasing numbers are now recognising the benefits of being trained in softer skills and undertaking counselling training.
So, how do the roles of family solicitor, family mediator and counsellor compare and contrast?

What does a family solicitor do?

Family solicitors work within the field of the law and give advice to individual clients. Most of the time, a family solicitor takes a history from the client to find out what the dispute is about.
The client is advised what their legal rights are. Legal language may be used but explained in layman terms to the client.

Family solicitors tend not to have received training on psychological matters. Instructions are taken from the client based on their version of events and what their views are about matters for the children. Advice is given to the client on what will be the best form of action to take.

Financial and children matters tend to be negotiated in writing or on the phone. If matters cannot be agreed, or if matters do agree, then an application can be made to the court.

What does a family mediator do?

Family mediators meet with both partners from the start of the mediation process. The couple may not want to separate, so it is explored with the couple if they plan to reconcile, have a temporary or long-term separation. If the couple does want to reconcile, then they may be sign posted to couple counselling.

Mediators work closely with family solicitors
and even more so now due to recent changes requiring separating couples to attend a mediation information assessment meeting (MIAM). If clients want to mediate, then they will need to complete an agreement to mediate.

Work with the clients tends to be over several months, but there are a few cases that go on for longer than this. In mediation, we tend to focus on what is happening now and do not really look back to the past.

A lot of the sessions focus on what should happen to the children, decisions which may be in the form of a parenting plan and what should happen financially. The goal of mediation is to help the couple reach proposals. At times you have to be a referee to stop arguments escalating and get the couple to refocus to discuss the pertinent issues.

If one client does not feel able to talk, then the mediator aims to give them the opportunity and confidence to do so. If proposals are reached, then a memorandum of understanding and/or open financial summary documents is/are prepared.

What does a counsellor do?

Divorce or separation is a traumatic time for couples, and they may need emotional support to manage such a transition. A counsellor may counsel one partner on their own or work with the couple if they have done further training to work with couples.

If the couple wants to stay together then the goal may be how to achieve reconciliation. Counselling does not tend to be linked to the legal process but, if the client is attending collaborative law, the counsellor may be involved in the room with lawyers.

The counselling process usually starts with a meeting for an initial assessment. Depending on the needs and wishes of the clients, counselling could be long term or short term. This will usually be set out in an agreement between the counsellor and the client(s).

Regular reviews of the agreement will be held in order to avoid drift or undue dependency on the counsellor. While the goals of a solicitor are to give advice to a client about his/her legal rights, the aim of the counsellor is to facilitate and empower the client to increase his/her understanding of the problems and find solutions to them.

Role play

The question is, are clients looking for a professional to perform more than one role when going through separation?

It is certainly advantageous to be able to work in more than one field. I have met family judges and family solicitors who were partners at law firms who have diversified to become mediators and counsellors, and who really like the variety of work each role offers.

The roles of family solicitor, mediator and counsellor are very different, but overlap in that the client may need to work with all three professionals when going through a divorce.

However, if a client comes to me for legal advice as a solicitor I refer the couple to a different mediator if they want to then go to mediation. I have also helped couples reach proposals in mediation and the clients have asked if I could then be their solicitor to draft a consent order, but I have said this is not possible and the clients have instructed another solicitor to advise them.

It is also important to change roles mentally and, if possible, have a short break if you are going straight from court as a solicitor to do a joint mediation session as a mediator. I try and arrange my diary so I do different roles on different days, but this is not always possible. SJ

COUNSELLING SKILLS

Austin Chessell is a collaborative family solicitor at Feltons Solicitors and a child and family mediator at FAMIA