Hulk QC doesn't like smashing countries

Hello, Hulk. Are you ready and raring for this week’s interview?

SURE. HIT ME, PUNY HUMAN.

What is your take on the Lord Chancellor’s recent defeat in the High Court over legal aid reform?

AS A NEWLY-MINTED LEADING LEGAL COMMENTATOR, HULK SAY, SMASH GRAYLING’S PUNY UNLAWFUL SCHEMES, AND, IN PARTICULAR, THE BILLY-NO-MATES WHO RUNS THE MISINFORMATION FEED ON TWITTER.

The Conservative Party conference was last week, after which the Tories attacked the Human Rights Act. What are your thoughts on this?

AS A DEVOTED TORY GRANDEE, HULK SUPPORTS THEM ALL THE WAY TO THE CJEU, WHERE THEY WILL LOSE. HULK SAY STRASBOURG IS PINKY TO THE EU’S BRAIN: EVERY NIGHT THEY TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

Tenuously on the subject of human rights: do you have any advice for the newly married George Clooney and Doughty Street barrister, Amal Alamuddin?

STAY AWAY FROM THE SAVOY. YES, IT’S OLD-SCHOOL, BUT YOU GET A DISCOUNT AT THE APEX TEMPLE, AND IT’S CLOSE TO CHAMBERS!

What did you think of the Scots voting ‘no’ in the recent Scottish Independence referendum? Were you worried about the outcome?

THE SCOTS DID AS THEY WERE TOLD. NO ONE LIKES SMASHING COUNTRIES.

Quite right, smashing countries is exactly how wars get started. Speaking of conflict, a group of barristers in Middlesbrough is offering a fixed fee divorce service that will step on the toes of many high street solicitors practices. What is your opinion on direct access to the Bar?

AH, THE ‘QUICKIE’, HULK’S PERSONAL FRIEND AND PROFESSIONAL FOE. DIRECT ACCESS IS FUN IF YOU LIKE GIVING YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO PEOPLE WHO ARE INSANE.

In other recent news, a fifth of UK law firms have admitted to offering poor service to their clients. Does this particularly surprise you, Hulk?

PUNY SOLICITORS MANAGE TO PUT THE WORD ‘NOT’ IN ALL SORTS OF MISGUIDED PLACES. SO NO, HULK NOT SURPRISED.

A new parody law is set to be introduced where judges will have to decide on whether something is funny or not. What are your thoughts?

HULK LOOKS FORWARD TO JIMMY CARR AND MICHAEL MCINTYRE STARTING UP RIVAL PROFESSIONAL MACKENZIE FRIEND FIRMS. ALSO, HAHA.

Was that a joke? Never mind, will this new law be an opportunity for barristers to indulge in their own version of stand-up comedy while in court?

IT’S WORSE. THEY’LL HAVE TO PARROT OTHER PEOPLE’S STAND-UP. NEVER HAS PRIVILEGE BEEN ABUSED FOR SUCH A LOWLY PURPOSE.

Thank you, Hulk. Great to speak to you as always.

YOU’RE WELCOME, PUNY HUMAN.

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