A matter of perception

Originally from Women Legal Volume 2 Issue 4:

By Lauren Stiller Rikleen, Executive Director, Bowditch Institute for Women's Success

I am frequently asked to speak to law firms and bar leaders about unconscious bias and the messages that are inadvertently sent in the workplace. A recent experience demonstrated the subtle ways that these issues can arise.

It took place during introductory remarks made at a recent board meeting of a lawyer-based organisation. The organisation is widely respected for good works in the legal community, and the board is largely comprised of lawyers from key law firms and businesses. The comments occurred early in the meeting and were made by the chair with the best of intentions, without any understanding of the ramifications of his words. He began by offering a few introductory statements that included the acknowledgment of one board member’s prestigious award and another’s new baby.

With respect to the latter, the chair made a further statement. He noted with admiration that the new mom had come to a key committee meeting just days after giving birth. It was clear that her attendance had not been requested and was a complete surprise. Acknowledging her presence, he briefly spoke with pride of her dedication to the organisation for attending, and her strength and abilities that could make it all work. A few of the women in attendance looked at each other uncomfortably, sharing a silent communication about what was unsaid and nonetheless heard.

It is difficult to apply a cold analysis to the well-meaning intentions of the chair. The new mother is a wonderful person and a professional superstar. She lived near the meeting and viewed her attendance as a way to leave the house for a few hours and enjoy adult company. The organisation’s chair is an effective leader who is quick to praise its members and express appreciation for their good works.

The problem, however, is not what either party did or said. It is that a simple moment of well-meaning congratulations included a significant number of collateral messages that impact women and mothers throughout the workplaces of everyone who attended the meeting. These messages differed, depending on the role of the individuals who heard the remarks. But to recognise the impact of these professional messages consider — would anyone have thought to praise the new mother if she had left the house days after giving birth to go food shopping or do other errands?

For young women in the audience, the admiration and praise also included the following unspoken words: “To be highly regarded in this profession requires superhuman behaviour. Women who do more than the expected norm are lauded for doing so; women who act consistent with their role may not be on the path for key leadership roles.” For more senior individuals in the room, the message was somewhat different. They heard a validation of their own work ethic and a view of the legal profession as a place that requires a 24/7 commitment. In that perspective, new babies should be a momentary interruption in a life of dedication to work. Even voluntary organisations are included within that ethos.

This example is not a unique one. Women in the profession have long faced the tension between their work responsibilities and their family roles. Those who act outside the expected norms are viewed as superstars and are recognised and rewarded.

Which leads back to the question: when leaders publically recognise the efforts of others, which behaviours should be singled out for praise? Could the new mother have been congratulated in a way that did not leave others feeling that an impossible bar has been raised?

There are no easy answers, particularly where the leader’s comments and the board member’s attendance both reflect the best of intentions. But role models are created through such words and deeds, with profound ramifications for the workplace.

Perhaps the best lesson that can be learned is that we all need to pay greater attention to our actions that feed subconscious biases.

Lauren Stiller Rikleen is the Executive Director of the Bowditch Institute for Women's Success and a partner at Bowditch & Dewey, LLP. She can be reached via www.bowditchinstitute.com