Human touch: emotional clients

Working with emotional clients presents us with many challenges. In matters of great delicacy, such as in Court of Protection and probate cases, some practical suggestions and areas for reflection can help you increase your effectiveness and confidence in handling these challenges.

In addition to the legal challenges of the situation, and the commercial pressures which may be at work in a business context, there are a raft of emotional issues at play. The emotions ?of the client, the family, ourselves and other third parties. These feelings substantially influence events. They are a factor in terms of time taken, costs incurred and emotional wear and tear on everyone involved.

Careful judgment

Emotionally challenging client situations present two kinds of need:

1. the ‘task need’, i.e the need for legal advice and action; and

2. emotional needs, as displayed by any client/family who is facing a highly emotional situation.

?Careful judgment is called for to balance these two very different kinds of need while continuing to get the job done, often in time-pressured situations.

Without compromising the provision of the necessary legal support required in each specific situation, there is a need to work within the emotional context presented by the client. Emotions of all kinds are so often to the fore in practice areas such as estates, Court of Protection and probate work, that it is impossible to avoid them.

The communication issues in Court of Protection matters, for example, span the whole range of challenges, from that of determining the client’s powers and faculties, to that of helping the families involved to handle the long-term psychological pressure of the situation.

Working with emotional clients requires a huge amount of what can be called ‘emotional labour’ – the need to interact with other people in ways that make demands on our own emotional stamina. The emotional demands of working in private client areas, whether probate, family law, Court of Protection, matrimonial or serious personal injury can be very considerable.

?1. Our attitude – what we think ?and believe.

There’s a paradox here. Being focused on the professional task can cause the human side of things to get washed ?away. Our own feelings may have a substantial impact on our ability to respond easily and naturally to the client’s emotional state.

Feelings of awkwardness or embarrassment are not uncommon or unnatural. It seems that relaxing is the last thing we would think of doing when faced with a highly emotional client, yet this is one of the most useful things we can do.

By apparently doing less – being more concise and listening better - ?we can end up being more effective. ?The resultant clarity of understanding can result in more effective interventions.

2. Communication – what we say.

Personality, social codes of behaviour ?and cultural factors all influence how ?we respond in situations where others are showing emotion.

A simple acknowledgement is best. In emotional situations, distress is often caused by saying too much rather than by saying too little. Remember:

• understanding – the ability to empathise with our client, seeing the situation through his/her eyes with the attendant understanding of how they feel and the implications of the situation for them;

• acknowledgement – recognise ?what is happening and acknowledge it so that they know they are being understood;

• warmth – that human factor that helps the client not only know they are being understood but feel it also;

• calmness – when the client is caught up in a tide of emotion, our composure can create a helpful sense of steadiness; and

• clarity of communication – keep it simple. Stick with short sentences, clear words and regular pauses to allow the client to absorb information.

3. Effective action – what we do.

Breaking information into small, manageable chunks and presenting it as simply as possible will help. A useful question is: “Is there any way in which I can make this easier for you?” This will be especially helpful when the process itself is complex or the client is struggling to understand it.

Dealing with third parties presents its own issues. Whether because the client is unable to communicate directly with us, or because, for example, there are family members who need to be substantially involved, there may be issues about trying to control the conversations so as to arrive at a clear understanding of what is to be done.

Sometimes, the simplest way is best. Being able to say to the third party, for instance: “This is something that I really need to hear from X about,” or: “Y, it would be very helpful to me in getting the whole picture if I could ask you ?to hold on for a moment while I hear from X. I will come back to you in a moment to hear the rest of what you have to tell me.”

Where the situation is such that communication has to be done through a third party, then special care must be taken to ensure that this third party’s feelings are taken into account in gaining an understanding of the situation. We may need to disentangle the facts from the various feelings involved.

Human factor

Client’s expectations and impressions of us as professional advisers may influence how comfortable they feel at expressing emotion in conversation with us.

Straightforward messages such as: ?“I know it’s not always easy to talk about these things with someone we don’t know,” or: “It’s fine to take your time and if you need to take a break from talking that’s no problem,” can be reassuring.

Other sources of help for clients and families are their GP or a counselling service (for example, Cruse deals with bereavement issues, Relate with relationship issues). The British Association for Counselling can provide lists of counsellors in local areas in the event that you need to source someone.

The ideas offered in this article can support you in working with emotional clients as competently and comfortably ?as possible. However, the final word should be about the importance of the ‘human factor’.

Whatever our client’s situation, ?we try to produce the best outcome ?we can for them. When they are in situations of great distress and tension, often we cannot substantially alter ?their feelings. What we can offer, in additional to our technical expertise, is genuine and respectful understanding of their reactions.

Simply making sure we don’t make things worse (by using clichés or failing to listen) is helpful. We can then go on to listen carefully, show empathy, communicate clearly and simply and show our respect for their situation. If we do that, we will have the best possible chance of working effectively with emotional clients.

Elizabeth McManus is a partner ?with consultancy practice Development Alternatives www.development-alternatives.co.uk

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