Fishy business

As I write this, it is now six hours since the general election was announced and I am already bored with the already overblown news items featuring every conceivable aspect of the forthcoming election. By the time you read this, another week will have passed and election fatigue will have set in for most readers of Solicitors Journal, so I expect that you will now be lying with your head on the last page of the journal, obscuring the latest brilliant offering from David Haldane. But wake up, because not all of this article is about the election.

Over the years I have, like a chameleon, passed through various shades of political colour. I used to go to many political meetings. At school I even attended a meeting addressed by Mr Brown. At the time I was going through a blue period. So captivating was he that I emerged from the meeting a new and exciting shade of pink. Mr Brown had the entire audience with him and received a standing ovation even from those who were blue at the time. It may be the effect of rose or pink-tinted spectacles, but my recollection is that elections then were much more exciting events than they are now.

Unfortunately, this Mr Brown was George Brown '“ the former deputy leader of the Labour Party. He is no longer with us and is no doubt tub thumping at an election rostrum in the sky. It is a pity his modern day namesake has the skill only to make us yawn. In the interests of balance, the same comments apply to the other two leaders.

There is well-known grafitti which reads: 'Don't vote. It only encourages them.' That might well have been scrawled on walls by my little brother William '“ except that as a solicitor he is a pillock of society like the rest of us and he would not be seen doing such a thing. Instead, he has written an allegorical book in which he compares our current political system to the activities of a fishing club. The Carp Club '“ or the Election that Never Was by William Barr (Morrow Books, £8.99) covers the build up to the election of the members of the House of Carpery and could not be more topical. It is laden with fishy puns and accurately fixes the date of theelection: 6 May. When I asked my brother how he knew, so far in advance, when the election was to take place he just opened and closed his mouth in a passable imitation of a fish.

Soon we will be seeing the manifestos, with their carefully crafted promises. Have you ever read the manifesto of the winning party two years after an election? Don't. It is too depressing.

Election fever

The Law Society has issued its own election manifesto which sets out its views on delivering justice. The foreword from the president and chief executive includes the following: 'The role of solicitors and of a healthy, independent legal profession in maintaining the rule of law needs to be recognised, supported and maintained. Over time, the profession has been crucial in upholding the rule of law, thereby guaranteeing the rights of citizens which underpin our democracy. The solicitors' profession remains committed to this duty.'