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Strictly come sentencing

Felix ponders the merits of scoring criminals

25 October 2010

What is it about piers? No not the posh chaps, the ones that stick out into the sea. They keep burning down! Southend, Brighton, and now Hastings. What is going on?

Not that I can see the point of them myself – it all looks rather windy and wet. I don’t want a tattoo or candyfloss, and yes they may well be great feats of Victorian ironwork and so on but aren’t they really a testimony to an age when, frankly, life was pretty grim and going to the seaside and not being able to swim or get your kit off meant that strolling along the prom and out to sea on the pier was a truly wonderful and invigorating adventure? Now we have rollercoasters and jet skis and nudist beaches. Do we really need piers?

Perhaps there is a serial arsonist out there whose mission in life is to destroy these things – rather than the sadly prosaic reality that it is to do with electrical fires or other such mundane things. Arson is a peculiar thing and something that automatically gets the cr...

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