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Not about tea with the Queen

28 July 2009

I am going to write about football, but first let me mention the little matter of tea with the Queen.

A few weeks ago...

There were a few corgis lapping around her ankles. She was sitting at a desk with a very large tome on it filled with lists of names of her subjects, all written in copperplate hand. She paused at one of the names, then reached for a bell push.

In the distance was the faint sound of tinkling. A few moments later a distinguished man appeared in the room and negotiated his way past the corgis.

“Ah, Simkins,” she said, “I have come across the name of the Barr family from Norfolk. I would like to invite them to tea. I command you to deal with it please.”

“Yes Ma’am,” replied Simkins, for she was the Monarch and he was the Lord Chamberlain. “And while you are about it, could you round up another 7,996 guests. I wouldn’t want the Barrs to feel self-conscious if they were the only ones.”

And so it came to pass, as ...

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