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Justice feat. Usher

Forget the trifling crims, what we need is a mass arrest of this 'wrong crowd' the defence keeps harping on about, says Felix

28 March 2011

When taking a stroll around the Crown Court there are certain people who you meet who are very important and there are those who are not so important. Then there are those who are very important but they are not there – it is rather like the Donald Rumsfeld’s “known unknowns”.

Starting with the ones who are there and are very important, let us give a big round of applause to the ushers. Ushers are the oil in the system. Ushers make the world go round. Ushers are the link between the judge, the advocates, witness service, the cells and the tap that fills the water jugs.

A good usher is a wonderful thing. Ushers walk many miles and have to try to smile a lot, like air stewardesses. Ushers have to alert you to the fact that it’s ‘all about to kick off’ outside court.

Now some ushers are not so good – some have been known to fall asleep; some are so busy reading police interviews that you might as well be in a busy restaurant trying to send the soup ...

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