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A close encounter at Dirty Dicks

24 June 2008

It is 6.30am. In a bijou residence somewhere near Islington (and not far from where a forgotten prime minister used to live) an elegant clock begins to jump up and down and make a wailing noise until, several seconds later it is hurled against a wall. But no worry: the clock is designed for that purpose, and it is quite used to violent treatment.

A few minutes later the wailing starts again and City Solicitor stirs out of bed, kicks the clock into the corner and hastily puts on a tracksuit. He sips a tepid cup of camomile tea before slipping into his expensive trainers and setting out at a brisk trot for his local gymnasium. There he attaches himself to a machine that would not look out of place in a space station and burns up enough energy to propel a large 4x4 at least seven feet. Glowing slightly from his exertions he returns home, glancing in on his pocket-handkerchief-sized garden to check on three his chickens in their state of the art accommodation (one egg only today:...

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