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Moats and beams

2 June 2009

“Of course,” said Beryl, “if you are going to have a moat, it must be a Trunch Troubadour. It may seem more expensive initially but you save money in the long term. Besides you can get it on expenses.”

“I see,” said Basil sceptically. “Surely a moat is a moat is a moat.”

“Absolutely not. You have to make sure that it has the 30-year guarantee of leak proofness. Also it cannot be too shallow. There is no point in having a moat just a few feet deep. It must be deep enough to drown an intruder.”

“Drown? You can’t go round drowning people even in Norfolk. I mean, their relatives might sue you, and what if innocent people fall in and cannot get out?”

“These moats,” retorted Beryl, “have been approved for use by Members of Parliament, so they must have thought of that, but we will have a couple of lifebelts to throw at intruders. But darling, I don’t think we will have much problem. They have to get past the Rottweilers before they...

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