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Behind bars | Turning over a new leaf

Jeannie Mackie suggests some New Year’s resolutions for the Ministry of Justice

11 January 2013

New Year is always a time of hope. Hope that this year, one will stick to that diet, finally crack that exercise plan, even get to the end of the celebrity’s favourite detox programme ?even although it involves drinking 23 glasses of lemon juice a day with regular coffee enemas.

Health food shops are full of optimists investing, unwisely, in enormous tubs of protein shakes and bags of weirdly desiccated super food berries and nuts. Gyms of course are bulging with the unwary, lured in by the promise of perfect health and rippling abs, signing on the dotted line and about to have the most expensive swim of their lives, or clogging up the heart attack inducing machinery so that the old lags can’t get on them. Nobody is drinking alcohol of course – January is the one month where robing room chat is not exclusively about the horrors of life at the Bar: the number of days passed since one set foot in a bar provide...

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