How to have a positive impact and make a good first impression

Positive personal impact: you know when someone has it. They light up a room when they walk in. There is an aura of energy which draws others to them. Yet, making a positive personal impact is a skill, not a talent. It can be learned.

In my experience, people who make a positive personal impact share three key characteristics:

1. they possess a high degree of positivity which is focused on whatever they are doing at the time;

2. they are capable of building rapport and find ways of relating to all kinds of people; and

3. they have emotional intelligence that enables them to understand and interpret the mood of the moment.

These same characteristics are necessary for successful networking. Great networkers also tend to be curious and authentically interested in others. They are open and receptive to new thinking and experiences. They are connectors of people, ideas and concepts.

How successful you will be in improving your personal impact and developing your networking skills comes down to two things: your attitude and how willing you are to work at it.

Do you feel networking is fake, embarrassing and to be avoided, or do you believe it can be genuine, valuable and supportive? Whichever you believe it is will probably be true – and this will come across in the way that you communicate and in your behaviour.

Increasing your impact

Here are some simple, practical tips for making a stronger positive impact in a range of situations, including networking.

First, define what it is that you wish to achieve in a given situation. For example:

• to build rapport and communicate effectively;

• to feel comfortable in what you say, even in challenging situations; or

• to create opportunities to connect with likeminded people.

Once you are clear about the impact you want to have or the opportunity you wish to create, it is easier to plan for it.

Having established your objectives, you can think about the basics: analyse your communication style and be honest. Sometimes it helps to have a critical friend who you trust and who is willing to give you some feedback on how you come across.

The foundation of effective communication is confidence. Even if you don’t feel confident deep inside, start to act confident and you will be amazed at how different it will make you feel.

Work on exhibiting confidence through the words you use, the way you speak and your demeanour. Stand up straight and look head on. Make eye contact and smile. Speak clearly and avoid jargon. Ask a question and listen. Really listen.

Active listening is a skill that anyone can learn. It takes discipline not to jump right in. Practice reflecting back what you’ve heard and use this to build on the conversation.

Show interest in the conversation by engaging with the other person. Don’t allow your gaze to wander around the room – it will look like you’re trying to find someone more interesting to talk to. This may well be the case, but do the person in front of you the courtesy of listening to their reply. They will appreciate the respect this conveys and think better of you.

Try to moderate your tone – a screechy high-pitched voice tends to irritate and talking in a loud voice doesn’t increase gravitas. If you get nervous, use breathing techniques to centre yourself. The few moments you take will calm you and make all the difference to your gravitas and demeanour.

Making a good first impression

The first few seconds in a networking situation are crucial. Make the first impression a good one. Be approachable. Look like you want to be there. At networking events, you will often see people hugging the walls of the room or standing half in and half out of conversations. Their body language is screaming ‘let me out of here!’

To make sure this isn’t you, here are a few straightforward techniques that you may find helpful.

Approach people directly. They are there to meet new people, just as you are. Don’t hover – you will appear indecisive and look furtive. Walk up and ask to join them. People expect this to happen, so forget your shyness. People on their own are the easiest to approach. But you can do this with groups too.

Sooner or later, someone will ask “what do you do?” Have a short response ready that you feel comfortable you can deliver authentically. And don’t forget your business cards.

If you sometimes struggle with small talk, try asking purposeful questions. These are simply the open-ended ones that enable a conversation to develop, such as “Tell me?” or “Help me understand?” They are natural conversation starters that show interest in another person, help to build rapport and can be great in networking situations.

The more interested you are in others, the more interesting you’ll seem to them. Empathy is about understanding and acknowledging others’ viewpoints, not necessarily agreeing with them. However, do remember to balance your questions by actively listening to responses, otherwise it will feel like you are putting them on the spot.

People sometimes struggle to disengage from a conversation. There can be an embarrassment factor about moving on to talk to someone else. Be confident and courteous. There is nothing simpler than saying “It’s been great meeting you. I guess we’d better circulate” – and doing it with a smile. No one will feel slighted or offended. After all, that is what you are all there for.

These techniques are really quite straightforward and fairly obvious – yet it’s surprising how few people practice them. Try them for yourself and you’ll be astonished at what a big difference some small changes can make.

landais@devchambers.co.uk